Stench Surrounding Chelsea’s Diego Costa Revealed


During Chelsea’s most recent match at Stoke, striker Diego Costa was caught on camera pinching his nose presumably to let those around him know that something in the area stank. Costa also accused Stoke defender Ryan Shawcross as the cause of the unpleasant odor. Upon further investigation the real cost of the foul stench has been uncovered at last. The cause of the putrid aroma was simply Costa’s play this season.

I’m not sure if you’ve been able to discern this from the British media, but Chelsea aren’t off to a flying start this year. The defending League Champions sit sixteenth in the table and have on the whole, played horribly. There are a multitude of players responsible for their horrid start, and striker Diego Costa is certainly one of them.

The Spanish or Brazilian forward (depends on which federation you ask) was brilliant for Chelsea last season in their title run. He posted 20 goals and three assists and generally terrorized the opposition with his physical play and quality finishing. This season he’s kept the borderline dirty play and lost everything else.

This year he’s only managed two goals and one assist in his ten appearances. His impact on matches have relied far more on his bullying of the opposition than any sort of football skill.

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To that end, the caustic Costa has as many yellow cards (two) as goals this Premier League season. He’s been quite fortunate not to have been sent of on multiple other occasions as well. When you’re scoring goals and agitating the opposition you’re seen as walking the fine line to maximize your effectiveness. When you just act like a petulant school boy and try to garner a reaction from your opponent you’re a hack. This year, Costa has been a hack.

His incident with Ryan Shawcross at Stoke this weekend typified Costa’s season. He couldn’t find a way to outmaneuver or out class Shawcross so he resorted to base insults. Honestly, if one of my children had acted as Costa did on the field, accusing an opponent of smelling poorly, I would have yanked them off the field in a heart beat. The fact that a decorated football star would engage in such childish behavior is baffling to me.

Are we to assume that Jose Mourinho didn’t include pre-match instructions on “what to do if Diego accuses an opponent of body odor?”

No doubt Costa is resorting to these base, despicable actions because he’s run out of other ideas. He isn’t skillful enough to add new football tricks to his repertoire so instead of working on his finishing, he goes to the local primary school to pick up new insults.

Maybe in the coming weeks he will unleash a plethora of “your mom” jokes to intimidate the opposition. I can hardly wait for the Sky special on the subject.

Ryan Shawcross must be sleeping well tonight knowing that his reputation has been reclaimed. It wasn’t him that stunk on the pitch. It was just Diego Costa’s performance.