10 things to cure Louis van Gaal's boredom

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal needs some help to relieve his own boredom

It’s hard not to pity Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal. He’s become the subject of constant criticism and mocking from United fans and pundits alike, and now comes the admission that he’s bored by his own team’s play. And here we all were thinking it was just us.

So as an olive branch to the Dutch gaffer, I’ve prepared a list of ten things van Gaal could do to cute his own boredom. Hope this list finds its way to the United manager so his life will improve just a little!

1. Encourage his team to pass the ball forward

It may run entirely contrary to van Gaal’s philosophy but his team might be a little more entertaining if they’d hit the ball forward every now and then. Sure, his team’s passing statistics would take a hit, but they might do something crazy like score a first half goal at home.

2. Offer to switch places with Paul Scholes for a day

Scholesy seems to spend the majority of his time publicly criticizing van Gaal so Louis should give him the chance to manage United for the day. As an added bonus, van Gaal could join the media and rip Scholes mercilessly for a 24-hour period.

3. Put the note pad down

It’s as if he’s writing his own memoir during every match. Put the pen and paper down and engage yourself in actually managing the match. The cerebral thing just isn’t working. It’s time for a little fire and brimstone.

4. Not play Marouane Fellaini

Breaking news here, but lumping the ball down the pitch in the hopes that Fellaini can head it into a good position is not exciting football. If he’s on the bench, perhaps the rest of the squad will try to actually pass to someone’s feet in the final third.

5. Hire Jose Mourinho as an assistant

The fans at Old Trafford seem fond of chanting Mourinho’s name so why not give them what they want? Sky could even place a live microphone during matches on both men to hear them hurl insults at officials and one another. It’d cure boredom and serve as a ratings bonanza.

6. Buy Mario Balotelli

Come on, things can’t be boring with Super Mario around. His on the pitch antics would be sure to entertain van Gaal with the added excitement of checking his shoes for urine with Balotelli around.

7. Start referring to unqualified players as Pele

Oh wait..he’s already doing that? Never mind then.

8. Bring in Adidas as consultants

The sports apparel company seems to be very concerned about the boring nature of United football so perhaps they can offer a potential solution. Hopefully it’s something entirely different than their recent ball designs.

9. Mention Pep Guardiola at every press conference

The rest of the top Premier League managers are being forced to discuss him on a daily basis and they don’t seem to be bored with their team. Perhaps there’s a correlation.

10. Quit

Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to see things getting any better for United under van Gaal so the best thing he can do, is do all United fans a favor and just give up.

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10 things to cure Louis van Gaal’s Manchester United boredom

By Rucker Haringey | Jan 12, 2016