EPL: 140 Character judgments on January transfer window


What to make of January’s transfer window in the English Premier League?  Not much.  If it isn’t evidence enough that the heavy lifting is done in the summer, the big clubs’ lack of activity makes it almost pointless to evaluate this transfer window… but let’s do our best and give ourselves a tweet-sized challenge.

As often is the case, the preceding hype does not match the final results but this just completed transfer window in England was particularly underwhelming.  The biggest move of the window was a player’s exit from a mid-table club and what likely will be remembered as the best move of the January 2017 transfer window actually was a purchase from Brazil that took place last summer.

For society’s twitter-infused attention spans, the transfer window report cards for each of the twenty Premier League clubs are narrowed down to 140 character judgments.  To be perfectly honest, this transfer window doesn’t deserve 150 characters – particularly at the top, it was fairly dull.  No club gets an ‘A’.

The Arsenal – (D) – Many prospects loaned out (✅). Hednesford raided (✅). Debuchy stays (💩)? Total transfer spending = 16% wkly wage demands of best 2 players.

Bournemouth – (D) – Low-key with Glenn Whelan moving to Brighton for 3 million.  (Really only need 59 characters to detail Bournemouth’s transfer window.)

Burnley – (B+) – Surprising 9th in table on Feb1, Robbie Brady might have most impact of any Jan signing for this season.  Westwood = depth, Barton = laughs.

Chelsea – (C-) – Nothing in.  Oscar and Mikel off to China and more importantly for the club off the payroll. Reinvestment this summer should be interesting.

Crystal Palace – (B-) – Big Sam spends 26.5 mil pounds on left-sided twins from clubs fighting relegation too.  Sakho rescued from Klopp’s doghouse & 12.5m on who?

Everton – (B+) – Schneiderlin for now and Lookman for the future are good additions but this squad is a solid lock for 7th in the table with or without them.

Hull – (B+) – 5 pts from safety moved $ around. Talisman Snodgrass & Livermore out; loans in from Inter, Porto & Liverpool.  Do they know they go to Hull?

Leicester – (D+) – Champs in relegation dogfight so buy Ndidi for 15.5 and sell Schlupp and Luis H for 14.25.  Busy amt of nothing, no defensive reinforcements?

Liverpool – (C-) – Coutinho resigned and Sakho, Markovic might be addition by subtraction but what happens if a center back or two gets injured.  CL spot over?

Man City – (B) – The arrival of Gabriel Jesus looks to be a great fit for the club but that business was done in the summer.  This window’s business = yawn 😴

Man United – (D) – Memphis and Schneiderlin out is good business but no players in to help push for Top 4 spot.  Does Rooney stay past Chinese league deadline?

Middlesborough – (B) – Bamford is good talent and value at 10m. Gestede is a different attack option to what they got. Adding upfront changes their cautious style?

Southampton – (B-) – Former captain Fonte out and nothing was worrying but Gabbiadini on deadline day is a big boost and van Dijk not at Man City is even better.

Stoke – (B+) – Bojan out, Berahino in as new No.9 is upgrade and for only 12 mil after Spurs were quoted 25 mil for most of this decade seems like a deal.

Sunderland – (B) – North Everton added grit in Gibson and Oviedo to try to beat the drop.  Keeping Defoe from West Ham, Crystal Palace and Toronto a bonus.

Swansea – (B-) – Narsingh, Carroll, Olsson add value but most important is Clement and what he can get out of the squad. No Real / PSG / Chelsea quality, Paul.

Tottenham – (D-) – Sent Carroll to Wales. Could have sold some deadwood to make a stadium payment but in good shape for CL spot and rivals did nada too.

Watford – (C) – M’Baye Niang is intriguing move but why would he swap Milan for Watford?  Cleverley, Zarate are EPL retreads and Ighalo to China will hurt.

West Brom – (C) – Berahino out is a loss of talent but at least from club’s perspective, his saga is over.  Livermore in is good move for the club and for him.

West Ham – (B-) – Made the best of a bad Payet situation and got him out of league for the best case $cenario.  Fonte and Snodgrass add character, fortitude.